Book Review: "Beyond the Politics of Contempt"
- marthaengber
- Aug 5
- 5 min read
by Doug Teschner, Beth Malow and Becky Robinson
You might not know that I’m the host of Vigilant Positivity, a uniting Americans blog, Facebook page and YouTube channel.
I post weekly for three reasons:
I’m a member of Braver Angels, a national nonprofit organization that seeks to decrease political polarization through civil discussion and unified action. As such, I support my fellow Americans, no matter their political viewpoints.
I use the blog to learn both sides of various issues, as well as explore why America has become so divided.
I’m a positive person and fully believe that positive action and kindness will lead to positive change.
As part of my blogging role, I review books that reflect the reality that when we’re unified, we Americans do better together.
One such book is “Beyond the Politics of Contempt: A Practical Guide to Building Relationships in Divided Times.”
I hope you’ll read the review below, which I’ll post on my blog on Thurs., Aug. 7.
I hope you’ll also subscribe to Vigilant Positivity — blog, Facebook page and YouTube channel — so we can take action together.
___
One of the first things that struck me when reading this book was the authors' fervent urging that Americans return to kindness. That if we can accomplish the feat of reminding ourselves that we’re good people, and those who have a different political perspective, are good people, a lot of the political polarization we’re experiencing will diminish and everything else will fall into place. Namely, we'll build relationships, find common ground and take action to solve the problems our country faces, whether at the local, state or federal level.
The authors then give us the actual steps toward achieving those goals.
"We need to find a way to turn the politics of fear and contempt into the politics of hope... America is not as fragile as it seems. We believe that, but it is up to us to live it and embrace it. If we don’t like what we see, it is our responsibility to act with a hopeful spirit.”
The authors are former Rep. Doug Teschner, R-NH, Dr. Beth Malow and Becky Robinson. All three are members of Braver Angels, a national nonprofit dedicated to depolarization through civil discussion. (You can view blog transcripts of my previous interviews with Doug and Beth, or watch the videos on the Vigilant Positivity YouTube channel.)
The authors don’t make any claims that it'll be easy to return to a country where kindness is more routinely practiced, especially between people of differing political view. They go on to explain the many reasons why, such as the decline of community involvement overall, which used to provide people with a strong sense of purpose and importance in their communities. And because people no longer get together as often to problem solve issues in their areas, there’s a growing isolation among citizens, an emptiness people are filling by more strongly identifying with one political party over another. The authors address the success and prevalence of conflict entrepreneurs — politicians, political parties, journalists, media companies, countries like Russia and China — who purposely sow discontent and misinformation for their own benefit. They talk about a cultural shift in which bad behavior is not only accepted, but lauded, in a time of hyper-individualism.
“We are witness a deteriorating social dynamic with declines in basic manners and interpersonal skills. Adults increasingly model rude behaviors, which get passed down to children as normal. Bullying is severely impacting children’s mental health. Attitudes of entitlement, arrogance and narcissism also contribute.”
Yet after outlining the serious ills of our era, the authors get down to business by showing us what actions we can take to decrease societal ugliness and reinstitute kindness, which will help us pull together as citizens to insist that our political leaders act on our behalf, rather than their own.
“You have a lot more power than you think. Yes, there are conflict entrepreneurs and tech giants who play division to the max, but that only works if we let them. Change and moral awakening can start with us.”
To challenge us, the authors provide questions at the end of each chapter that are meant to help us examine our own thinking.
For example, the authors ask us to identify our values and think about how they apply to others with differing viewpoints. If we value relationships and family, why do we allow politics to interfere with both? How can we change our behavior so that our actions align with our values?
After laying out the obstacles, the authors offer a slew of tools we can use to shift our thinking from one of confrontation to that of cooperation.
Ultimately, the authors encourage all of us to change ourselves rather than try to change others. They tell us we already have the power to influence others, which we exhibit in our various life roles as spouses, employees, bosses, volunteers, parents, etc. By opening ourselves to new ideas, we can use that influence to engage others in order to learn where they’re coming from. By establishing those connections, we can build trust and teamwork with the goal of uniting the over 75% of Americans defined as “the exhausted majority” who have the power to drive change through action such as joining citizen-led bridge building initiatives that tackle issues at our local, state, federal or global level.
That means changing ourselves and learning to have respectful, but hard conversations:
“Sometimes you don’t have the time or energy for this hard work. You especially need to walk away if you feel physically or emotionally threatened. But if we always choose to walk away from hard conversations, we limit our potential for change and growth.”
In terms of information, the book is a treasure trove of resources for further reading; statistics regarding education, income inequality, peoples' perspectives and other issues; anecdotes from the authors’ own lives that demonstrate various concepts; and lots of encouragement.
I thoroughly enjoy reading this book. More importantly, the authors did what they set out to do by providing hope and guidance for uniting Americans, despite our political differences, with the goal of taking positive action to exact change.
You can read a chapter for free and sign up for publication updates at the authors’ Together Across Differences blog.
___
For updates about Martha’s forthcoming books, news and giveaways, subscribe to her website: MarthaEngber.com.
SCATTERED LIGHT, a novel, sequel to WINTER LIGHT, (Nov. 2025)
THE FALCON, THE WOLF AND THE HUMMINGBIRD a historical novel
BLISS ROAD, a memoir
WINTER LIGHT, a novel, in paperback and audiobook
THE WIND THIEF, a novel
GROWING GREAT CHARACTERS, a resource for writers
Коментарі