By Eleanor Vincent
Reading Eleanor Vincent’s just-released memoir DISCONNECTED: PORTRAIT OF A NEURODIVERSE MARRIAGE, about navigating the loving, but ultimately doomed late-in-life marriage to her autistic husband, was like viewing the beautiful interplay between oil and water: the two flowing around one another, but never connecting.
The author makes clear the many goodnesses her husband possesses: his amazing skill as a zydeco dance partner, his ability to solve technical problems, his love of art and reading. Yet she also describes her own need for emotional connection through the kind of intimate conversations that lead to understanding, the very thing her husband can’t offer.
Rather than attribute negativity to either him or herself, the author does a wonderful job of honestly portraying their love for one another, as well as why neither could continue in a relationship beyond their emotional wherewithal. And while no marriage is easy, the story shows the extra pressures placed on both partners in neurodiverse relationships.
As the daughter of an undiagnosed neurodiverse dad, I strongly related to that combination of obvious love, yet significant emotional distance. Having more stories like this in the world really helps us learn about — and heal — our own family dynamics.
You can also find this review on Goodreads.
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SCATTERED LIGHT, a novel, sequel to WINTER LIGHT (Nov. 2025)
THE FALCON, THE WOLF AND THE HUMMINGBIRD a historical novel
BLISS ROAD, a memoir
WINTER LIGHT, a novel
THE WIND THIEF, a novel
GROWING GREAT CHARACTERS, a resource for writers
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